Wednesday, May 28, 2008

just read Denise's email about
What it means to be a Volunteer.
it is true that
working with the Intellectually Disabled
seem to be a more "adventurous" option
than the conventional volunteering.
society has some ideas about the IDs and
also, it really takes
some extra effort to find your own approach to
communicate effectively with them.

Mandy, who's my trainee,
is considered to be the lower functioning
of the group,
but in my opinion,
only because of her problem with
expression and not
the level of her intellect.
over these months,
I have come to understand her
pet peeves, her little tricks,
her thoughts, her vulnerabilities and
insecurities.
yet there is just still so much
about her that
I simply have no idea how to
gain access to.
And still, she has taught me much
and I hold her dear.

i am, in many ways,
really not an excellent volunteer.
i wish i could be around more,
i wish i could feel less ill-equipped,
and i wish i could remove
the strange feeling of being unable
to fit into this community.

some seniors have been a source of
inspiration because of their
unconditional dedication and
genuine love for the trainees.

there is no glamour in being
a volunteer,
it is a commitment that
requires various investments.
it is about learning, giving,
then taking.

i resolve to be a
better volunteer.

10:29 PM

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

back at Universal Travel
and picking up momentum again.
work is, of course, much
less forgiving than the world
of school and books.
back again to the familiar
hostility of airlines staff,
intimidating abacus system codes,
uncontactable overeseas agents,
obnoxious paxes,
adrenaline,
REAL WORLD deadlines and plenty
of adultness.
alright i like my job just fine,
i just tend to dwell on the negative
bite me whatever.
so, have been working on a
new itinerary to Phu Quoc island
as recommended by some siao angmoh backpackers
we met in Cambodia.
boss likes so life is just
costing, hotel, ads and blah right now.
anyway mark my words Phu Quoc will be
the next big thing HAHAH
it's actually a beach getaway off Vietnam
like Phuket minus the kink and angmohs.
AND
working in office no tourleading
this break.

OWEL life is tragic now coz
have got a piano crisis and hands
are so freakkin paralysed from lack of practice
i am sad that i suck

FREAKS i missed 2 sessions at RSPID
with mandy due to big hectic mess
my life has become
i am sorry that i suck

DARNZ ntu is
threatening to release our results
next week major shiz
i am afraid that i suck

still fixing our cambodia travelogue
technology is a lil overwhelming
for my vanessa aw friend so
well it'll be done in a week or so

Cambodia highlights

AVRIL SHIZ IS HOME SWEET HOME
SARANG HAE YOO

RSPID trekked bukit timah hill
<3 our mandy (w lulu)

food with jie2mei2 &bimbos (:

more michelle bday
i want that bag dammit

9:22 PM

Sunday, May 25, 2008

这一刻，我们都是一家人。

life is cheap like that.
all it seems to take is
a slight rumble of the earth,
a gust of strong wind,
a shift of the sea bed,
a micro-organism up to no good...
it is not a fair exchange
how much we put in and
the lengths we go to
sustain it, love it,
better it to create
some false but comforting
sense of control over it,
and ultimately have so
little say in how or when it finally ceases.

the recent Sichuan Quake and
Myanmar Cyclone just provide a
magnified view of the true tragedy of what
our world seems to be.
even without catastrophes of these scale,
so many sad stories are played out everyday,
though in the comparative less sensational
fashion, be it man-made or natural.

it's really nothing new,
humanity has had a history of
screwing up.
during our Cambodia trip,
we visited the torture camps and
killing fields operated during the
Khmer Rouge rule in the 70s,
and we witnessed for ourselves
how lives are so absurdly
devalued.

it is frustrating.
there is really no ownership over
the world i live in
because i have only this much
to give.
and what more
everything that i am and
i feel just seems so
superficial, so temporary,
the sympathy, the powerlessness:
they are genuine but they are
unable to go anywhere beyond
myself.

thing is,
tomorrow my life will not change
and i will not be a different person.
this is the world that we live in
but how much command do we have?
suddenly, life is
just a number that adds to the death toll.
but the world really won't stop
any longer than just a lil while.

sometimes it is all so laughable
the things that bother us
because when it comes to the end,
all we're hanging on to
is something so basic as
hope.

make yourself feel better.
put your dollars to better use
than the great singapore sale:
http://www.redcross.org.sg/chinaearthquake_src_donate.htm

8:16 PM

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

CAMBODIA WAS AWESOME
and work starts tomorrow
we're doing up our travelogue
for the trip so STAY TUNED !

so i guess sometimes
even i need to
retain some degree of sanity
to prevent weird from
developing to weirder.

11:06 PM

Monday, May 12, 2008

alright man goodbye world
will be flying to the
beautiful royal kingdom
of cambodia in some hours with
my CARmen and VANessa friendzz
we'll have some good fun
till 8 days later
LOVE YALL LIL SHIZZ!

10:34 PM

we happybirthday-ed
to michelle optometrist lim

and selamatdatang-ed
christine back-from-USA kon

10:59 AM

Saturday, May 10, 2008

is my ability to
pull away
an indication
of my maturity?
or a measure of my character?
or just evidence of my own cowardice?
this sucks
but it'll pass.

9:08 PM

Thursday, May 08, 2008

so i PLAN to be
off to cambodia in 5 days
of course the key word
here being PLAN
since i am travelling with
2 of the most unstable,
erm i mean, spontaneous, creatures
i personally know
HAHAHA OK CARMEN CHING AND
VANESSA AW friendz forevaz anywayz
got most of the pre travelling
stuff done
we're gonna have some helluva fun :D

& here's to ntu_bffs
gUrLz r 4evA bOyS r sO whAteVa
HAHAHAHAHA

11:32 AM

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

when you come to terms
that
all you really are is
mere comic service
to the world that matters,

you will want to shift
the focus of your life to TUDOU.COM
because it gives you
seasons of Brothers&Sisters,
PrisonBreak, Grey'sAnatomy
where life is a hotter mess
for the angmohs
on the other side of the screen,
random korean variety shows that
you totally don't understand a
word of but laugh very hard about anyway,
and airhead brainless
taiwanese programs hosted
by queen of funny Xiao S,

because world away from reality
is safer.

8:06 PM

Monday, May 05, 2008

EVEN THO U FAKESMILEZZ/
CANT SMILE
WE ARE BFFZZZ LOVEZZZ

10:49 PM

Sunday, May 04, 2008

OMG BEIJING WELCOMES US!!
WHAT WOULD THE ANGMOHS THINK
ABOUT THIS SONG?????

i think this song makes me
wanta freakin cry HAHAHA
it is cheesy and all but
has an NDP effect
i think maybe it's
the chord progression HAHAHA
i am after all at least
one eighth Chinese HAHAHA
so whatever it is
about Tibet..
CHINESE ALL OVER THE WORLDZZZ
SHOULD STAND PROUDZZZ
and kick some angmoh asses
i mean affectionately la
HAHAHAAA END WESTERN
SUPERIORITY!!!!!!!!

8:52 PM

Saturday, May 03, 2008

if i wrote my heart and soul,
what would you think
of me?
thing is
i really would never because
i know better than to
subject myself to vulnerability
and judgement.
yet
somedays like today
i wish i could just let go
of all my frustrations,
insecurities,and all those
ugly but very human feelings.
it is always very difficult to
be here looking at all of you
and witnessing
how there are so many ways for
life to be close to perfect,
and yet
so many more ways for it not to be.
mostly, im tired.
when i was younger,
i always thought i would be
one of those who would
float quite gracefully into adulthood.
then i became this tragedy.
this is a very 14 year old thing to say
and
i know this is not true but
i wish i had your perfect life.

11:39 PM

half the world is mocking you
the other half only pretends not to

8:33 PM

Friday, May 02, 2008

cant handle the adultness
of my life of late
wish i could go back
to those days when i was
6, and life was
just playdough and shizz.
guess i primed too early at age 6,
after which
everything went downhill.

9:01 PM

Thursday, May 01, 2008

life is just
lousy like that,
guess while we grow old
we may not grow up.
maybe one day i will
stop being the walking
piece of humiliation that i am
for realzzz
so frieNdzzz will stop
despising me_88 HAHAHA
life is shizz really:
cherish your moms and dads.

10:00 PM